Jace has arrived!

I’ve completely lost track of what day it is. Time is becoming something totally different than it used to be. It’s a schedule now for when to feed, when to change a diaper, when to sleep. There is no more night and day, no weekends it’s all blurred together. So when I look at what today is I have to double check to make sure I am right. It feels like it’s been years since Jace arrived into this world, but it’s only been four days! And it’s been the best four days of my life so far!

Having a baby is a huge adjustment, that’s for sure. You really can’t prepare yourself for it. But having something so little, so precious, so close to Heaven and such a huge part of you is such a miracle that I can’t even begin to describe! I love his head of redish blonde hair. I love his blue eyes that study me while I’m holding him. I love his long little fingers and toes. I love his pouty bottom lip. There isn’t a thing about him that I don’t love! He looks so much like his daddy, it amazes me. Isn’t it the coolest thing, that we made something so…perfect??!

Jace Daniel Croft joined us on Wednesday morning, March 23^rd, bright and early at 4:10 a.m. He weighed 8 lbs 10 oz and was 21.5 inches long. The first thing the doctor said when he came out was, “Wow he has a huge head!!” True to the Croft boy reputation, he did have a huge head. Luckily it has shrunk down and looks normal now!

I’ll share my birth story now, but with a disclaimer-if you’re having a baby and doing hypnobirthing, hypno would advise you not to read my story! Just skip to the last paragraph. With that being said, I wouldn’t change my experience. It was perfect for me.

It all started when my water broke on Monday night, March 21^st. Dan and I were at home watching a movie, when I suddenly felt like I had peed a little. This didn’t shock me, it wasn’t a gush like I’ve heard it is when your water breaks so I didn’t think much of it. But these little spouts kept coming every minute until I had soaked through my pj pants and had to change. (TMI?) Within the next couple hours I had soaked through two more pj pants before I wised up and put a pad in. I Googled to see if your water can break intermittently rather than one big gush, and results said yes, it happens that way sometimes. Sure enough, at midnight my contractions started.

Dan and I were both up most of the night. I made some cookies for the nurses at 1am, just in case this was the real deal when I went in to get checked the next morning. By 7:00 a.m. Tuesday morning my contractions were still 7 minutes apart, but I knew if my water really had broken and I needed to get into the hospital, due to the increased risk of infection. So we checked in around 10am and found out that indeed my water had broken and we were here to stay. At this point I was dilated to a 3-4cm and 90% effaced.

I was so excited to hear that! It was 5 days before my due date, I was prepared but I hadn’t wanted to get my hopes up that he would come early. In my mind I thought he would be here soon and I was so anxious! But things didn’t go like I had planned them. At first things went really well. I was happy and the hypno was working so well! As my contractions got closer together and more intense I was able to relax and breathe and it worked wonderfully. I never broke a sweat, even in the last few hours of the most intense contractions I had. But Jace wasn’t ready to come out, he stayed strong and I dilated slowly. I finally got to a 6 and I stayed there for hours. Every time they came back to check me I felt like I must be closer because of how intense the contractions were getting, but everytime the nurse looked at me with pity and said “Still a six…” Around 7:30 p.m. my contractions were 2 minutes apart and extremely intense. I was exhausted and starving and having a hard time getting myself to relax anymore. It was then I first expressed to Dan my interest in possibly getting an epidural. We decided to wait until I got checked again to see if I had progressed anymore.

The nurse came back in to check me and I was in tears at this point. I was having contractions about every 30 sec now and the pain and exhaustion was wearing me down. I was trying so hard to stay positive, but I could feel myself getting ready to give up. The nurse checked me again but had no words of comfort, just a “Well…you might possibly be a little closer to a seven now…” And that was it, I was done with natural birth. I made it 17 and a half hours and then made the tough decision to get an epidural. At first this was so hard on me, because I had been so positive and sure I was going to make it through this all natural! I was crying and in more physical pain then I’ve ever had and feeling so discouraged at this point.

Then came the epidural, and within 30 seconds when my next contraction hit I could already barely feel it or anything else below my waist. IT – WAS – HEAVEN!! I’ve never felt so good in my life, to have that pain taken away! I was laughing and happy and able to get some rest.

Then we went 13 more hours after that epidural before Jace arrived. At about 1 in the morning on Wednesday we were told baby’s heart rate was much too high and to prepare ourselves for a possible c section. Dan immediately called his dad and brother, who at 1:30 in the morning drove to the hospital to pray with us and give me a blessing. When they left us baby’s heart rate went back down to 150 and stayed there. Two hours later I was told I was finally at a 10 and started pushing. I pushed through about 5 or 6 contractions and out he came! Healthy and beautiful! I’ve never been so happy to see someone in my entire life. They layed him on my stomach right away and he calmed right down as I held him and welcomed him to the world. No one has ever been as loved as he was at that moment.

Recovery has been rough, I had no idea how much pain went into this. I was told, but I had no idea! For those first couple days after I had very negative thoughts about labor and giving birth. I told Dan multiple times that IF I decided to have another kid after this, I was going straight for the epidural right away! Everyone tells me I’ll forget about the pain, and that starting with your second child it gets shorter and easier. So I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get there!

I did LOVE hypnobabies and I would use it again in a heartbeat. I’m proud of myself for making it as long as I did, for trying so hard. I’m especially happy with how it helped my pregnancy be such a breeze! It took away so many aches, it made me feel so much more positive and happy and in control. It helped me to relax and took away fear. It made me feel more prepared and I learned so much from the classes. And this is something I can still use in my life. I love it, and I will be using it again with my next baby! Just with the disclaimer of…if it goes more than 17 hours, I get to do whatever I want. :)