subconscious desires

I am a firm believer in living each season to its fullest.

Mind you, I haven't always been this way. Let's say I'm a newly firm believer in this. When I was younger I was more of a, is it tomorrow yet!? kind of girl, which I now feel was such an unknown tragedy to be this way. The wiser and more learned I become with each passing year, the more aware I am of how essential a thing it is to live in the present! And more importantly, to not take anything for granted while living in the present. I am focusing on really being where I am in life and loving all of the simple and beautiful things in the world. As it so turns out, the most simple things are, in very fact, the most beautiful things. And now isn't that something?

It's the thick of summertime right now so as per my firm belief, I am focusing on all of the things I love about this season. I'm loving how light it is in the early mornings and still long into the evenings, for example. That might be my very favorite thing about summertime at all! I love summer mornings. It's very hot in the summer, you know, so if I want to get in a good bike ride or a good run, I have to go very early. Running in the heat is just not my cup of tea and whatnot. But there is so much beauty to be had in those cool-aired, dimly lit early mornings while the sun is still ascending behind the mountains. The sky is always a perfect color of purple and blue, the world light enough for me to feel safe but dark enough for me to feel serene. It's quiet in the mornings, and I truly love that. (Peace is something hard to come by when you're a working mother of two rambunctious boys and so, mornings. I love them.) And in contrast, I love summer evenings. The kids out roaming the neighborhood together, jumping around from this house to that house, running through sprinklers and riding bikes and jumping on trampolines until bedtime. Eating dinner on the back patio and watching the sunset while inhaling a delicious concoction of citronella bug repellent and coconut sunscreen, all from a long summer day.

I also love the busy-ness of summertime. The weekend camping trips and the canyon dinners and the family reunions and the water slides and the fairs with their ferris wheels and cotton candy dreams and the rodeos with their greasy rodeo burgers the size of my face. It's all very nostalgic, summertime. It's short but so very sweet.

That being said, and now don't laugh in my face, but.

I did purchase two sweaters this week. Isn't that ridiculous? But I need you to know that tj maxx just received their first fall shipment and I'm a sucker for fall shipments. I'm a sucker for fall anything, including but not limited to: sweaters and cardigans. And this just in: wool socks. (I suppose that's how I know I'm aging.)

Also, You've Got Mail has been repeating itself on my tv in excessive amounts this week, which may not seem out of the ordinary but that it is, because typically I only watch You've Got Mail in really excessive amounts once autumn arrives. In fact, the essence of the movie in itself brings with it waves of nostalgia for corn mazes and late ripened garden tomatoes sliced into fresh pico de gallo and steaming hot potato soup while wrapped in a woven mexican blanket, the same way a familiar scent takes you back to your childhood. I associate meg ryan with fall the way I associate sandra bullock with christmas time.

And then this morning, and it happened so subtly in my head that I had to do a double take to even realize it had happened at all, I had quite the hankering for a pumpkin bagel from einsteins on the way to work. Just like that, as though I would walk into the store and demand a pumpkin bagel and, hey! why not add a shot of pumpkin spice to my coffee while you're at it! And they would have looked at me like I was insane. They would have said WOMAN IT'S JULY and I wouldn't have realized it at all until they yelled it in my face because of the silly, robotic, pumpkin flavored trance that I found myself in.

I'm still very happy with summertime while also, it would seem that my subconscious is slightly anxious for fall? I'm not sure what is happening in the universe to cause these cravings but I'm going to blame the random summer thunder storms that keep creeping in. I mean my goodness, just rub salt in my subliminal wounds, will you!?

Okay so, but, it's still July, I know. Got it. My freckles and my kayak are both very, very happy that it is summertime. And I'm with them, really, I am! While also, this heat! It's a beautiful thing, to live somewhere in which I am able to experience all four seasons so intensely. The heat of summer is always the one thing that pushes me to welcome the coolness of fall. And so on and so forth.

Look. This whole thing is just a ruse, a pep talk to myself. I really just came here to remind myself that I AM A FIRM BELIEVER in living in the season we are in! I needed to hear myself say that, so the new sweaters in my closet and these cool summer storms will stop enticing me to wish the days away, because I know from experience that October will be here soon enough! (It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a beautiful bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address!)

Breathe. There is no need to rush time. Time has a way of doing that all on it's own.

Also, really though, insanely cute cardigans at tj maxx right now GO GET YOU SOME AND THANK ME LATER.

Pointless and ridiculous blog post, over and out.

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