30 weeks

It's been a rough week as it's getting closer to baby time and I'm feeling how unprepared we really are. Sometimes I live in a fantasy world because I don't like to face reality. Had Dan and I planned to have a baby, we would be much more prepared then we are right now. For example, we would have been on a better insurance plan with a lower deductible. Luckily for us we are able to change our insurance plan just before baby comes, which will cover some of the most expensive part of this whole thing. But up until then we've been paying out of pocket for all our doctors appointments, ultrasounds, blood draws, etc. I've said before that I've never been set on being a stay at home or working mom, so with this little surprise we weren't sure what was going to happen. Initially we thought I wouldn't be working, then we decided we could work it out for me to go back one or two days a week. But as we've reviewed our unprepared-ness (new word) this past week, I know that isn't the smartest thing for us right now. It would be doable, but not the smartest thing. When I realized that (I think I've always known it, I've just been fighting it) I had to make a hard decision... See, we'd like to get out of debt and get into a house, both very achievable goals if we are both working for a little bit longer. Going back to work isn't the hard part for me. I have a great job and I'm getting great experience for a really good career. It's the thought of daycare that makes me cry. I'm a big time worry wart and the thought of leaving my little baby boy is going to be really hard! But we have long term goals and we're hoping to be much more prepared by the time we have another little one. Luckily I only work 3 and a half days a week, which means we only need daycare part time (thanks to my fabulous mama for taking him one day a week!) It's so nice having 3 day weekends along with such a flexible schedule and a great job. And we have lots of awesome family around that have offered to help out as well, we are so grateful for them!

I don't mean to complain, because life is just so good! Prepared or not, we're so excited to meet this little boy. And having Dan is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me! He works so hard and he wants us to have so many things, he really spoils me. I love that guy like crazy. Even when I'm a pregnant emotional wreck with no patience. I'm excited about the future, I just need to remember that life doesn't always go as planned...but it always works out for the best!

I'll have pictures posted soon of the nursery, which is coming along great and has been so fun to work on. We skipped right past painting our bedroom, I've just been too anxious to get the nursery done! Again, the bedroom will be the last thing we do...oh well, I'm okay with that right now!

I can't believe I'm over 30 weeks. That sounds so far along to me! Between Rockie being so restless lately, my lingering cough that wakes me up all night, and my getting-worse-by-the-day achey hips, I'm slowly getting prepared for lack of sleep when the baby comes. There is something about taco time, crumb donuts, and dr. pepper (not all together of course) that I just love these days. Those three things always sound good to me, and I probably could have them everyday! But I don't. But...I could! I can't stand putting on my shoes anymore, I hate bending over! I've still been working out at the gym and I'm so confused to how I can work my butt off for a 45 minute spinning class, but everytime I walk up the stairs at our house I am winded and my legs almost give out on me. This past week baby has had his feet in my rib cage, which is been extremley uncomfortable. He is always rolling around, I still love that. My stomach is almost always lopsided because he's always pushing against it. He has the hiccups a lot lately, at least once a day! He's such a fun little guy already!

So life is good, as usual. Crazy and unpredictable and sometimes a little scary...but good. My sis-in-law is having her baby boy soon, due a month before me, and I keep thinking how fun it will be for our boy to have such a close BFF cousin to grow up with! And he has so many people that are going to spoil him, I can't wait for all the fun we'll have!

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