things jace says

He says "hornk" instead of "honk". For example:

"Why that semi truck hornked his horn?"
"Mom, hornk the horn at that car right there!"
"Hey, his horn hornked!"

He is dead set that he is twenty years old. For no reason whatsoever, one day he just decided it. "I'm not three! I'm twenty!" And then twenty turned into his favorite number.

"You need to sit here on time out for ten minutes Jace."
"No! Twenty minutes!"

"Which episode of teenage mutant ninja turtles do you want to watch?"
"Twenty!" (as you can imagine, he's seen that one many times now...)

"Jace what time do you have?"
(looks at his teenage mutant ninja turtles watch on his wrist) "Twenty o'clock!"

It's the oddest thing, this obsession with twenty. But heaven forbid he hears me tell someone his age!

"How old is he?"
"He's three."
"NO I NOT, I TWENTY!"

One morning after Dan had gone to work:
Me to J: "Do you want some toast babe?"
J stares at me, then slowly looks over his right shoulder, then stares at me, then slowly looks over his left shoulder, then says: "Ummmm. Where's babe?"

Or when we were driving in the car on the way to school one morning:
Me to the truck in front of me: "Get outta my way slow poke mcpokey!"
Jace from the backseat: "You talkin' to me mom?"

While we were on a sunny walk one day, Jace zoomed past us on his tricycle and excitedly called back, "COME ON, HURRY UP MY FRIENDSSSS!"

One random conversation:

"Mom?"
"Yeah honey?"
"Member how Beck was in your belly?"
"Yep, he was in my belly. And then he came out huh?"
"From your belly door?"

At the hospital during our bouts of nasty bugs one evening, as we passed the elevators:

"Mom! We gotta get on those alligators!"

One of his happy meal toys was a walkie talkie, which was a HUGE hit. He walked around the house all night repeating this phrases into the walkie talkie:

"Yes Roger!! Coffee that!!"

As we were grabbing Chinese takeout the other night, the girl taking my order had a big top knot bun:

"Mom, look at her weird hair!"

Uhhhh, sorry about my son. Your hair is beautiful... (it was funny looking. kids, they don't lie.)

As he was playing with his toys in the other room we heard him loudly and slowly exclaim, "HOLYYYYY CRRAPPPP!"

And my very favorite:

The other night Jace was being naughty and needed a time out. He was holding a piece of pumpkin bread in his hand which I took away as I hauled him up the stairs to put him in his room. It so happens that as I took away his bread it broke into a hundred pieces, which really just aggravated the whole situation. He was a blubbering mess!

I let him calm down in his bedroom for a good ten minutes before I went in to talk to him. His eyes were red and puffy from crying.

"Hey baby. Come talk to me." I said with open arms.
He sulked into my lap. "Mom," He whimpered, "You broke my bread and you broke my heart."