I have a five year old. I think this might be a perfect opportunity to use the phrase that those new age millennials keep saying: I CAN'T EVEN.

Over our birthday breakfast of donuts and milk I told Jace the story from the day he was born. It's a hard story to entertain to a five year old. Thirty five hours of labor, son, and I went seventeen without an epidural you know, and I threw up all over the place while I was pushing you out! So I withheld some of the gruesome details. His very favorite part of the story is how his head was so big that he BROKE MY BUTT when he was born. He thinks that is hilarious. It's not hard to get a five year old boy to laugh so long as you say the word butt.

There are a lot of things that I don't do well, and I mean A LOT, but Birthdays? Birthday I can do. Celebrating the people I love most in this world for their being born and making them feel special all day long? That I can do.

First J walked through his doorway of streamers into a family room filled with balloons. For breakfast he took a baseball bat to a pi├▒ata filled with candy. Then we went to the store so that J could pick out his birthday presents. Whatever you want kid! (Only, I stopped him at four.) Then we went out to our favorite donut shop for donuts and milk. Jace got to choose the table and tell all of his jokes and he was a delight to be around. Then we hit a matinee of Zootopia, which is just as cute as they say it is! Then we played outside for a while with all of our new birthday toys, followed by a drive down south where we spent the remainder of the evening at Boondocks! GoKarts, laser tag, arcades, presents and a power ranger birthday cake! Both boys crashed hard on the drive home, like drunks after a night at the bar. It was perfect.

I would like to say a lot of sappy things about Jace and how he has changed our lives and how I didn't know I was capable of this kind of love and how his determination and personality and independence make me a proud mama every single day, but I will just say instead: this five year old business is my jam. I really do like five years old. It feels like my favorite stage so far. (I say that every year so I realize that you don't take me seriously anymore...)

And now, five years old in PICTURES! Enjoy!

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